First, I just want to say I really need to vent.
I hate you. I hate you for what you did to me && what you made me become. If not for you doing this to me would I be normal? I am so insecure && I second guess everything && everyone. I push the ones who mean the most to me away because of you. Are you happy? How does it feel to know you ruined my life? Well don't be too happy. You weren't the first. You weren't the last. Four different guys, four different times. I still wonder why I'm even still here. I hate life. Only three reasons I love it. My daughter, my family, && of course Josh. They're the reason I even care to still exist. You make me try to push him away. I'm afraid to get close because I'm afraid I'll get hurt. I'm afraid to trust anyone because at one time I trusted all four of you.
Four years old. What kind of sick fuck does that?
Ten years old. You don't do that to family.
Eighteen years old. Fuck you. You were supposed to be my friend and instead you tried to take advantage of me. Not once but twice. What part of "We're just friends didn't" you understand? You ruined my prom so thanks prick.
Nineteen years old. My stupid ass thought I loved you. 'No' means no. Next time someone says no, listen. Then you might not end up with a kid you're not ready for. Even though it's already to late. Well I love MY daughter. Maybe you && your skank ass girlfriend will have some babies && you'll forget me && my daughter. Wishful thinking.
Ok I'm done.
